I shouldn’t be the first to tell you that every single relationship is different. The ways that couples communicate, get intimate, and argue completely vary case to case. Despite all of the things that make couples different from each other, there’s one thing most couples can agree on. What’s that one thing? It’s infidelity. Almost no couples condone it, and very rarely do couples stay together afterwards. I think we can all universally agree that infidelity is bad, but maybe we can’t all agree on what counts as being unfaithful and what doesn’t. As I said before, every couple is different, so each couple might have different boundaries when it comes to being unfaithful. With that being said, there are some incidents people as a whole can agree on as totally cheating or totally not.
Being active on Tinder: Totally cheating!
If you asked anyone in America why people use Tinder, the most common response would be “To get laid.” No one is going on Tinder to get job interviews, make platonic friendships, or strike up some great conversation. No, they’re going on there to GET LAID! So, if your partner is on Tinder, they are acting sketchy. Don’t let them make any stupid excuses, there is one reason and one reason only to be on Tinder, and it’s sex. As if I need to say more, your partner also should not have any other active online dating accounts for the same reasons.
Texting other people of the opposite sex: Not cheating. (Depends on case)
If your partner is texting another guy or girl to get the homework from Monday’s class, RELAX. You’re entering crazy town if you get mad because of that. But if they’re texting simply just to text, you’ve got a little bigger of a problem. Having full blown conversations these days is only for good friends, couples, or people who are trying to bang someone. So if your husband or wife is having conversations with a girl who isn’t their good friend, there’s a pretty good chance they’re trying to bang them. Obviously, don’t jump to conclusions, make sure you’ve got all the contexts figured out before you freak out.
Kissing someone only once: Totally cheating!
Now look, I get it. Maybe you are super in love with your guy or girl, and you just slightly messed up this once. It was only a kiss! You got swept away in the moment, and maybe you had too much to drink. Sorry bud, you're still unfaithful. The point is, it happened, and it wasn’t your partner. In that moment of time, you acted like you were single. You were not concerned with your partner or your relationship, and you placed all your bets on this one kiss. Not to mention, they physically kissed someone else! Almost anything that becomes physical is unfaithful. Sorry guys and girls, this one is a no-brainer.
Following hot Instagram famous people: Not cheating.
As the saying goes, you can look but you can’t touch, right? If your partner follows hot Instagram models and accounts, relax, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s especially natural for guys to do this- they are very visual and sex-hungry people! (That’s why they watch porn, and porn isn't cheating duh.) Unless they’re commenting on these girl’s pictures asking for their digits, you need to take a breather, they’re not guilty! This point will come back up in a few.
Hooking up with a random on vacation: Totally cheating!
For all the idiots who thinks this is okay, and trust me there are a lot, knock it off! Just because you’re in a different time zone or a random country does not mean being unfaithful is okay. And this goes for “guys” and “girls” trips too, still not okay. Yes, this includes bachelor and bachelorette parties. Being unfaithful is bad, it doesn’t matter where or what the occasion is.
Watching porn: Not cheating.
This is like my point from earlier; you can look, but you can’t touch! There is nothing wrong with watching porn. It’s practically a necessity for guys. And sorry to burst your bubble, having sex with you is not the only time they’re getting off if you know what I mean. Yes, I mean guys masturbate, shocking right? No. Just remember, porn is not real, the people on it are usually trashy anyways, so why care?
Anything that you feel guilty about and that you wouldn’t want your partner to find out: Totally cheating.
If we tried hard enough, this list could be miles long. We could think of a million scenarios about what is and isn’t considered unfaithful. Since it makes no sense to do that, you need to keep one thing in mind: if it makes you feel guilty, you're probably unfaithful. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t be okay with your partner finding out. Create your own rules, define your own boundaries, and follow through with the guidelines you’ve set. Treat your partner with respect and expect the same back.
If you have to force yourself to be mad about it: Not cheating.
Sometimes, people in relationships get so caught up with the status quo and the dos and don’ts of relationships, they forget how they personally feel. If you don’t feel hurt or care about something that your partner did, even though it might seem like cheating by someone else’s standards, then that’s okay. Listen to your heart and your mind. Don’t overreact in your relationship if you truly don’t care about just because that’s what others are doing.