It wasn’t until recently when you got the feeling that something wasn’t right; she was hiding something from you, and desperately so. She wasn’t just keeping a little secret to herself, you could sense she was actually holding something back from you, something you were not supposed to know.
In a marriage, a secret like that should not exist; this is something heavy, something that is a burden enough on her that it alters her behavior and her mood. Something about her has changed, and you’re getting the feeling that the source of the change is something from your nightmares, your worst thoughts.
You’ve just realized that your wife might be having an affair. Let’s back track a bit though, and go over the signs that your wife could be cheating on you; there are quite a few, but pay special attention to these 7 indications to tell if your wife is having an affair.
1. “I forgot we need milk; I’ll run and get some.”
If she mentioned this to you on a saturday afternoon, you wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but who needs milk at 11:30 pm? Didn’t you guys get groceries two days ago?
She’s always been prepared for the next day, it’s only been these past two months where she’s forgotten to buy essentials at the store; now she’s making late night grocery runs? This change in behavior is an indicator of infidelity, and the most brutal- you’re watching a movie together, the kids in bed, and all of a sudden she scampers of to run a quick errand, only to not come back home until 3 am.
If you’re going to cheat, do it well and cover up all of your tracks- being so blatant and obvious about it makes the situation even worse; you’re essentially just rubbing it in your innocent spouse’s face. If the standard routine for the past decade has suddenly switched, and she’s taking three hours to get some milk, there’s a good chance she could be having an affair.
2. “Sarah from Work” sure does text her a lot.
In the past, she’s never been much of a texter, at least if it’s not with you, but all of a sudden she’s texting a lot more, and laughing and smiling often as she does so. She keeps saying it’s just her dad or a friend from work, but your father in law is 68 and thinks texting is “a stupid internet thing”.
I’m sorry, but I highly doubt “Sarah from Work” really wants to text your wife any time past 5 o’clock (you also happen to know that Sarah is quite the bitch and lacking any sense of humor). This isn’t a new work friendship, and we all know the old man isn’t going to engage electronically; this is a telltale sign that she’s having an affair.
3. Rekindled friendships, nights out with “the girls”.
In recent years she’s had a lot fewer girls nights, but the past few weeks or months have seen a pretty dramatic increase in the number of nights out. Wasn’t she always saying how she’s too tired these days to go out with her girlfriends?
Didn’t two of them have their first kids recently, too? No way they’re available for a girls’ night; she’s actually using this as a cover for date nights with her mistress guy (Mister? Whatever, you know what I mean).
When she gets home and you ask her what they all did that night, her answers seem forced and not entirely convincing. Apparently the old girls’ night routine has changed, too; it used to be dinner, wine and movies, now it’s comedy clubs and dancing.
Unless she’s got a new group of friends to hang out with, she could be hiding her tracks with these excuses.
4. Significant change in sexual behavior.
If you notice a pretty drastic change in sexual behavior, either you don’t have sex nearly as often or she’s suddenly found a new move to try with you, she could be having an affair. This new guy could have been fulfilling her desires in the day, meaning you don’t have sex that night.
If she’s now into some move or trick that you never saw her having an interest in before, she could be having sex with someone else, but it could be something innocent, like a close friend told her about it or the book she’s reading piqued her interest in something new.
This doesn’t mean you should freak out whenever she doesn’t want to have sex or has a favorite new move to try, but if the changes in sexual behavior continue, it could be brought on by another lover.
5. She’s been to Victoria’s Secret a lot lately, compared to the past.
Now, this could be as simple as she’s simply trying to spice up your love life, but if she’s not wearing that stuff for you, there might be a guy out there who she’s sleeping with. The credit card statements don't lie, and she hasn’t shown you any new lingerie in your recent memory; unfortunately, your wife could be having an affair.
6. She’s giving you and the kids extra affection.
All of a sudden, she’s feeling so close to you, giving you extra love and affection; she could just be in a great mood and feeling thankful for all she has, or she could be influence by the guilt she’s locked deep inside her. This guilt could then lead to her pampering you, hoping that her attention will make you feel loved and like everything is normal when it isn’t.
She’ll also shower more love on the kids, and if all of a sudden she’s buying them those toys they’ve been begging for, she could be using that combat the guilt she’s feeling. Cheaters try to make the situation feel right, even when it was normal in the first place; they perceived something to be wrong, and take some action to alleviate those feelings, although they forget those feelings were only perceived by them.
When you mess something up, you take some measures to correct the issue, and leave it alone if everything is well and good; if she’s acting like it’s Christmas in July, she might be having an affair.
7. Depression, insomnia, mood swings.
When someone does something they know was wrong, they usually feel a sense of guilt, occasionally evidenced through changes in behavior, such as depression, insomnia, and mood swings.
Your wife used to be so happy and vibrant, but now she’s been in a blue mood for weeks. If she’s not being honest about the cause of this change in behavior, she could be having an affair.
Cheating, and keeping the cheating behind your spouse’s back can be quite the burden on one’s emotions, and some people may see a lack of sleep because of it. The constant guilt can cause insomnia, and if you find that your wife is sleeping a lot less than she used to, and you know her work life is great, she might be sleeping with someone and feeling the guilt her infidelity caused.
If you know that it wasn’t anything you said or did, and get a sense she’s not being completely honest, you may be right in being suspicious that she’s cheating on you.
If your wife is having more girls’ nights or she’s only getting three hours of sleep each night, you don’t have to reach for the panic button immediately; there could very well be a valid, innocent reason behind the change in her behavior. But if you she’s giving you more and more signs that she’s hiding something from you, she could be having an affair.
Before you go pointing fingers, though, it’s important you have some evidence; you don’t want to rush to a conclusion and end up being the one causing damage to your marriage.
If I can say one thing, it’s this: trust your partner, and be honest with each other; if you do that, and truly love each other, you’ll have nothing to worry about.